My Treasure

Watching my four year old daughter love her treasure, gets me thinking about what valuable treasure will I leave to her and her sister (age 6) when I am gone.

"There she goes", I think to myself, as my youngest, "Co-Co" blurs past one room to the other, catching my eye, like a cat noticing a bird flutter by to settle on a branch out of reach.  I wait a little while, because I know she is squirreling away, in a place she calls "My Treasure", some new and little thing-a-ma-bob she has found and holds dear to her heart. It could be her sister's bracelet, taken without permission in the hopes it will just be forgotten about, a puzzle piece, a special rock we found at the park, my favorite pen, or something really peculiar like used children's floss!  I learn two very important lessons: 1 - There is no rhyme or reason to what fancies a girl's heart and 2 - If I'm missing something, I know where to look.

Co-Co's treasure got me thinking about My Treasure, too.  My faith.  As one who has explored his faith and lack there of over the course of at least three decades, and having explored becoming an atheist, turned agnostic, and ultimately returning to the Catholic faith of my youth, I am feeling blessed to know more fully in an adult way what a personal relationship with Christ means.

A personal relationship with Jesus is like any other that requires daily attention to remain vital; it includes the "little things" of prayer, mindfulness, scripture reading, and action.  It is these "little things" that amount to a treasure I am adding to daily for my own spiritual edification, that of my community's and eventually to pass along to my children as an inheritance of faith.  With each passing day together, we squirrel away memories in our hearts, that result in a shared history able to get us through any of life's challenges (and we have had our fair share).

By no means perfect, I could do better on many days.  But rather than striving for perfection, I renew each morning a commitment to looking for what is meaningful in our faith, taking the time to explore answers to the questions I had long ago (and currently) and practice being the best I can be in my relationship to Christ. Why?  I determined long ago, I would not allow my children to flounder in all the world will throw at them, without a good faith effort to give them a framework by which to gage the progress of their lives and the progress of the world in which they live. I once heard,

If you will not teach your children, someone will.  Do you think that someone will have your children's best interest at heart in the temporal world or hereafter?

The answer to that question is obviously, "No!"  So apart from my belief in the importance of modeling for my children a relationship they can have hope in and will come to appreciate in their own lives when older, I believe in personal accountability to the knowledge I have of a creator.  To not act on that knowledge would leave me emotionally and psychologically bland.  Not something I wish to be for my children.

During this holiday time, in celebration of the birth of my Lord, I am particularly mindful and thankful for my children and what I learn from them.  And I am thankful for my faith, My Treasure and God's grace that allows it.  This gift doesn't come in a box; it fits from within given by a Savior to last a lifetime and thereafter.  As with so many gifts we are offered, it must be accepted for there to be a continued binding of the relationship between the gift giver and gift receiver (to do otherwise is simply to reject the gift).  To experience the full impact of the love with which a gift is given, it must be accepted with a fully open mind and heart, leading to a treasure of unimaginable value for this generation and the next.

What is your treasure?  What inheritance are you working daily at to leave your own children?  What treasure do your own children enjoy?

Resources:
Why do Catholics Do That?
How the Catholic Church Built Western Civilization

Favourite Time of Year
The Florin Street Band (Christmas 2010)

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Star of Bethlehem 
Amazing research confirms the book of Revelation

For more information, see The Star of Bethlehem

"well-researched and reasonable"
Former Chief of Planetary Astronomy, NASA, and Technical Editor, Sky & Telescope magazine

"an interesting look...at the star...genuinely thought-provoking"
Christianity Today magazine

I Got Pooh for You!

One of the major life experiences that occurs in every parent's life, which binds you as the parent to your child occurs at "Potty Time" (written about extensively by experts in the field, who offer parents a multitude of suggestions and secrets in their books).  That is the time where bonding really occurs.  Make Potty Time a good experience and my guess is you've sealed the relationship pretty well.  Now, I have just a bit of an aversion to "Potty". But no matter who you are, CEO, M.D., Clerk, Domestic Engineer or Fashion Model, we all deal with "Potty".  Our parents dealt with it, their parents did and every single generation after us will deal with it.  Potty is so serious a matter, there is actually the Real Diaper Association researching the subject. They report, "27.4 billion disposable diapers are consumed every year in the U.S."

Where there is Pooh, there is Pee.  Kinda like Yogi Bear and Boo Boo, or Sonny and Cher or Batman and Robbin  It is impossible to separate the two.  It can't be done.  You cannot have a discussion about Number 2 without Number 1.  They go hand-in-hand, so to speak (Yuck).

The other night, my four year old had an accident (You'd think she was running around in her room and collided head on with another moving object at 1 a.m.  But, that didn't happen and we had to deal with an accident). So I get up, can't find my glasses and take my little one by the hand, mindful of not wanting to have any experience related to Pooh be traumatic and have her end up in therapy some day, dealing with her Pooh and Papa.  So, I take her by the hand, and assure her, "Oh Honey, That's okay, Babe, accidents happen".  I get her cleaned up, and back into bed after removing the fancy bed cover, fearful another accident will occur, but I'm tired, she's dry, happy and enjoys the snuggles before she is back to sleep.  Like any good parent, I can handle the situation without glasses, and in a semi-lighted environment, with the skill and precision of a Navy Seal assembling a weapon on the shores of a foreign beach in nearly pitch black conditions, so quiet as not to wake my other daughter.

This whole experience, reminds me of those times, I actually long for.  Can you believe it?  I long for those times of changing diapers.  Am I nuts, or what?  But, truth be told, I do.  Then I think of the song I made up for my first daughter that served her and my second well.  When I used to sing it, no matter how bad the accident, the song brought a smile to both our faces and bonding was reinforced:

I got pooh, just for you!  Papa, I got pooh for you. I got pooh, just for you!  Papa, I got pooh for you!!


Neat times.

So before she gets up after sunrise, I already have the comforter involved in the accident washing; and I have cup of coffee in hand ready to take on the day.  After the wash is done, I'm struggling to take the thoroughly wet comforter out of the wash (and just at this moment it occurs to me, should that have been dry cleaned?) and my little one walks up to me standing at the washing machine.  She takes one look at the all consumed and dripping wet comforter and says, "Wow, Papa, that's a lot of pee!!"  I bust up laughing, and say, "Babe, I don't think this is all because of you.  I don't think I can even have an accident like this!"

She giggles, not really understanding what I mean, but more so at may laughter.  I pull over a chair, she climbs up and together we finish struggling with the dripping wet comforter to get it to its intended destination, the dryer. With my gentle instruction, she turns a nob and pushes a button.  She's amazed at her near mastery of turning on the dryer; I pick her up, snuggle and we're on to the next morning's task...breakfast (after our morning's prayer of course).

Speechless

A colleague asked me today to help her with a project that has to do with online teaching, and she needed me to recall when writing became so important in my life.  While I have had many occasions to write to family members of clients in the course of my career for one reason or another, immediately my mind settled on the day I started to blog for my then only daughter, "Baby B".

July 16, 2004 - "Baby B", unbeknown to her was compelling me, by her peaceful existence, to capture an experience I had never known, an experience that was so dynamic I could hardly find the time to write each new awareness that was rushing into my mind, heart and soul, at times drawing from me emotions that most men like myself find it difficult to admit to.  She was in the world for only a little over six month, and as she continued to grow, nurse, move, cry, slumber, wake, I was transformed each and every moment we were both together and apart. I found myself listening attentively to her, trying to learn her language directing me to meet the most fundamental of her needs.  Never in my life did I want to hear something so well, or wanted to get something so right.  Intuitively, I did pretty well.  However, upon reflection, I do recall how overwhelmed I felt.  I was so taken with joy, I could only blog the simple observation, "Baby B takes a break from play to discover her feet".  Today, both she and her sister, "CoCo", at times, still leave me nearly speechless.

Play

Enjoyed playing 123 Number Jumble with youngest who had a cough today, "sneezies" and a runny nose. Life is good for us both, no matter how many tissues we need.


 You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing.  What!  Is it nothing to be happy?  Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long?  Never in his life will he be so busy again. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762

Honor

Caring is defined in many different ways and is manifested in the seemingly small gesture, as when a friend invites you to coffee to listen to an issue that is troubling you, or it may be in a determined commitment to show you love in ways that will bring tears of joy and admiration, and will be remembered for the rest of your life.

Like you, I am faced with many opportunities to provide care, especially in the work I do (see Profile) and more importantly when my children become ill. Taking care of an ill child (or children) is an honor, for one day that child will care of of an old man, and my hope is she will find the same honor. I am not of the belief we are to put away the burdens that face us in life, for I believe those "burdens" are the very elements that strengthen our character and make us unique physically, psychologically and spiritually. From a refined character, then comes great gifts to those we love and those we may never know.

How do you care? Who inspires you to care deeply? Here is a dad and son who inspire me.

Holiday Conflict and the Path to Healing from Domestic Violence

During this time of year, schedules can become more intense, though the children are not in school; budgets are challenged and we try to do more with less. Also, there are the important appeals from local and national organizations seeking assistance to help the needy, which may lead to a sense of feeling guilty for not being able to give more.


If a family was previously experiencing stress, the loss of a job, medical bills and concurrently dealing with alcohol or chemical dependence, or some mental or medical health challenge, then unmet expectations can increase the stress and result in spontaneous and unintentional abuse in the home. And, if abuse in the home was already an established pattern of interaction, then circumstances can get worse.  Perhaps you have a sister, brother, uncle, mother, father or friend who can use your assistance.

What’s the solution? Break the silence.

Whatever the circumstance, help is available and new coping strategies can be learned. More importantly, there is healing through Christ for all involved.  Imagine for a moment, experiencing for a loved one or friend the peace and healing Christ offers. Can you think of a better gift, than to bring someone aid and information?

Resources:

• To refer a friend (or to use for yourself) to his local priest for reconciliation and counseling, visit www.MassTimes.org. There it is easy to identify a local Catholic Church and contact information to schedule an appointment with a priest. Also, calling you local diocese and asking for a list of Catholic counseling services in the area is easy enough to accomplish;
• For our sisters and their children who are thankful for a day free of violence - Faith and Trust Institute;
• The Church on domestic violence - "Scripture leads to... equal dignity of men and women" (USCCB);
• Are you called to share with someone you know a path to freedom from violence? Learn to identify abuse in the home here;
• Be Still and Know, Stephen Curtis Chapman - Music for contemplation;
• Domestic Violence Recovery Books;
• Catholic counseling support;
• Getting help for a loved one or friend suffering from domestic violence - Video;
• 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) / 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) - Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7

+ Catholic Dads HQ - Faith formation is job #1 - Working toward "Strengthening: Heart, Soul and Mind" (sm) of Catholic dads, their families and communities everywhere (Mark 12:29-31)

Gifts to Our Children by Service to Our Neighbor

 

Give to Catholic World Mission

As we enter into the season of giving, you may have some interest in volunteering, or introducing a young person to this aspect of community-fellowship. The message from our Lord is clear and should touch the depth of our hearts, and can only be modeled for our young people to understand by what we do more than what we say about how giving is important in meeting the temporal needs of others, and eternal needs beyond what is immediately apparent.

This observation is nothing new as the following excerpts indicate from as far back as 1899 to "modern day" 1947":

"Education consists in preparing the moral character of a child, in teaching him the few fundamental invariable principles accepted in all the countries of the world. It consists in giving him, from tenderest childhood, the notion of human dignity" (Lecomte Du Nouy, 1947. Human Destiny, p. 208). 

"In a day when selfishness brings so many temptations, [the Bible] supplies us with information and knowledge of what God has done and can do with individuals and nations given over to His service...[The Bible]...will mean very little to the modern man unless he reads and hears and answers its challenge...." (Ted Evans, 1928. What Place Religion? p. 159). 

"...[W]hether the parent likes it or not, whether the parent knows it or not, whether the parent helps it, hinders it, or ignores it, the education of the unconscious is ever going on...The soul (unconsciously) observes and reflects and assimilates the countless products of nature and art which enter it. The result is formation of character, and all which we call life is impressed. The influences from without make a man what he is" (Alfred T. Schofield, 1899. The Unconscious Mind, p. 190).

As we consider the days ahead and the gifts we will exchange, wrapped in either the love shared at a special meal, giving aid to the homeless, or a favorite holiday paper, may we give a momentary thought to the gift we give our children wrapped in our actions on the value of human dignity served by our time and attention to those less fortunate.

Many blessing to each and everyone and may there be joy in every home and in the hearts of those you touch by your generosity.

Loving Nature, Loving You

I chose this piece, Flowers with Relaxation Music for my blog today, because my daughters and I love nature.

When we're together, they don't just smell the flowers, they pick them and give them away as gifts of love and affection.  Also, I know that my spending time with them, enjoying what brings them happiness, the standard begins to take form, as they learn about relationships.  For they will know, in love, we share with those what bring them happiness.

They remind me to embrace nature with all the senses, to draw the attention of others to it, and with love fear not giving nature and one's heart away, a gift that requires a lifetime of attention to its fragility.

"Thank you, my little ones, for the gifts you give.  ~ Love, Papa"


Image: Favorite flower of my youngest. Photo taken at Flower Frenzy - Florists, in Encinitas, CA

Veterans Day 2010

"November 11th is Veterans Day, a day to honor America's military Veterans. Since 1954, the Veterans Day National Committee has worked to ensure Veterans Day receives proper and widespread observance. Part of that outreach this year includes this video for students explaining how and why we honor Veterans, not just on Veterans Day, but year-round.  On the VA Veterans Day page you'll find not only this video but also Veterans Day History, local and national observances and resources to teach students the value of honoring our Veterans" (US Department of Veterans Affairs).

- TAPS - "Caring for the families of the fallen..."
- Taps Bugler on YouTube
- Taps Bugler

In addition to paying respect, we extend the honor deserved to those who have served and their families, by teaching our children to respect those who protect our county from all enemies foreign and domestic, and teaching them the freedoms we enjoy come at a high price. We can do no less than to instill this awareness of gratitude, which may well be the seed to courage (ECLD).

"O God, by whose mercy the faithful departed find rest, look kindly on your departed veterans who gave their lives in the service of their country. Grant that through the passion, death, and resurrection of your Son they may share in the joy of your heavenly kingdom and rejoice in you with your saints forever. We ask this through Christ our Lord" (Prayer for Deceased Veterans).

Resolving Conflict Between Kiddos Traveling 40 MPH

Invariably on any venture with kids, as with a lot of parents and ventures, wrinkles in the daily "plan" accumulate, especially if traffic begins to backup.

When that happens, one needs a little grace, St. Christopher and prayer to effectively and safely navigate down the highway, headed straight  for school, a play date, yogurt outing, shopping venture or bug hunt at the local park.  One too many red lights, and tensions rise.

You know what I mean.  You're sitting at the light, looking at your watch and then hear from the back seat little ones launch into "How much longer?"  "Are we there yet?" or "Papa, why is she staring at me?" Or, that one we all love, "I have to go pee again" (Wouldn't it make life a little easier if car seat companies had a fitted and pee resistant covers, just like we use for their beds?  But, I digress).  If you have had enough rest the night before (Yea, right), and plenty of coffee or diet-whatever, then these queries are effectively managed with a polite any one of the following canned comments:

• "Nope.  I'll let you know when we're there."
• "Nope, it will be just a little longer."
• "Hon, look out the window and let's see who can find the next sign with numbers."
• "Hang, in there, let me find a bookstore. Can you hang on?"  (Bookstores are harder to find, but they are the cleanest; and since my daughters loath gas stations, I know just about how long it takes to get to each bookstore from any particular intersection in our community).

If this is all you have to deal with before arriving at your destination, then you have literally "arrived" and a Snoopy dance or the latest dance step is in order.  Life is sweet and yes, there is a God who listens to St. Christopher.  Pause.  Wait a minute, life isn't so sweet all the time, is it?  Sometimes, St. Christopher and God have other designs and lessons to teach when kiddos get into it in the backseat.

Are you ready?  If your little ones begin lobbing stuffed animals at each other, or Lord forbid, take the last sticker from someone's new sticker / coloring book, and all heck is just about to be unleashed back there, under these circumstances, you've got little time to react.  Rather than trying to manage WWIII from the front seat of a war zone traveling at 40 MPH approaching a yellow light, take a deep breath and say, "Hey, guys.  I thought you were wanting to go to (Fill in the blank here).  Guess you are not ready, since you can't be nice to each other. Sooooo, we're pulling over and we are not going anywhere until you stop fighting and makeup."

Of course, for maximum effect, you'll want to (a) have practiced this with your colleagues and CEO and (b) keep your voice low, determined and just a little difficult to hear, James Bond style.  Start yelling, and you lose the full effect and beauty of this peace keeping mission (Don't forget to turn off the engine so you can then bask in peace a quiet).  I usually stay at the side of the road for about the number of minutes equal to the average of their ages.  And, just for grins, to ground myself, I adjust the rear view mirror and watch their little confused faces looking at each other, and without out a word, try to figure out, "What are we going to do?"  What was initially a potential conflict that could rival any, turns into three to four minutes of entertainment.

Now, I'm not kidding, the fist time I tried this little maneuver, the kids were in shock. Truth be told, I was, too.  The war stopped!  That's when I discovered, keep a child from her intended destination, and you will have her full attention and compliance.  After about two more trials of this, the mere threat of pulling over has resulted in nearly 99.99999% effectiveness.

My little ones are four and six years old.  So, I encourage you, try this in your home (I mean car), but keep in mind, this strategy to end conflict between older children, to my knowledge, has not been tried.  So be cautious!  In a few more years I will let you know how it goes.  But until then, let me know how your peace keeping mission turns out.