The Joy Continues
Between 10 1/2 and 11 months, you found out you can cruise around the coffee table, and I would chase you! You could muster enough strength to go around no more than four times. Then, you'd wait for me to catch you, scoop you up and give your all the hugs and kisses you could handle.
Waiving was exciting for you. You seemed so amazed that others would respond with a similar gesture, as you took your little hand and moved it slowly and sloppily from side-to-side in a semi-circular motion.
I was equally amazed to watch you stand in the kitchen and pull out any thing that was in the lower door. Both your mom and I would return the contents only to have you empty the door over and over again.
The joy continues, moment by moment...
I am Moved
Since you've been in my life, my darling little daughter, there is nothing else I need to make me happy.
I see your little toes, and I am moved...
I see your smile and the way you look at me, and again I am moved...
You are standing now with the aid of some nearby object. And, usually that is with a good grip onto the kitchen chair, or the coffee table in the living room..
Or, if I'm lucky, you will find my pant leg the best place to finish as you find yourself tired from all this work; then look up at me and motion with your eyes for me to take you into my arms.
As you rock slowly back and forth, one side to the other, steadying yourself and trying to figure out how to stand on your own two feet, I feel I am doing the same emotionally.
I wish I could be the perfect dad for you, but I am not. I am only moved to be your father...
I look forward to our time once again tomorrow, first greeting you with your "Daily 5" (a kiss on the forehead, then on your chin, next on your check and then the other, and to finish with one on your little nose), followed by breakfast, reading, play and "nappy time". By then, our day is well underway and then adventures await us both...
Love,
Papa
A Journey of Faith Starts with a Humble Heart
I wish I could say I have always had that conviction, but I can't. I have been that Prodigal Son (Pope: In Forgiveness We See the True Heart of God) at various moments in my life, as most have to some degree or another; I have gone away from a relationship with the Lord and have had to deal with the consequences. However, as in the story, there is a road back. All that is necessary is for one to have a humble heart to get back on the road and begin the long walk home, dirty, fatigued, bruised and often times with regrets. In any case, all hope is not lost. On the contrary, there is great hope that is gained.
One of the most vivid impressions on my mind and heart is experiencing the open arms of my then priest, "Fr. Don", at St. Elizabeth Seton (in about the year 2004), when I heard him say after confession,"Welcome home." There was nothing more refreshing to my soul than those two words, "Welcome home" (for more information, see The Sacrament of Penance).
Are you far from home? If so, ask yourself, "Where am I headed? What is my destination? Do I want my children to follow me here?" The answer to your questions may take some time, or not. In any case, an answer is needed (The Coming Home Network International).
May this blog and what I share be a help to you as others have been to me on the journey of faith; and, may it point you to Christ, who will provide you all the inspiration, comfort and guidance you will ever need.
God bless, Ed.
P.S. I placed this timeline at the beginning of this blog, as I will modify it as the Lord permits.
A Man Fell in a Hole
1964 - Baptized in the Church of St. Alphonsus, Los Angeles, CA
1969 - I have a "spiritual awakening."
1973 - "Something inside calls" to become a priest. The dream never materializes. At that time, I thought, "What greater calling is there than to service our Lord." Later spent some time with a mentor at St. Vincent's Seminary (now De Paul Evangelization Center), however the doors to education do not open here for unknown reasons. Attend with grandmother St. Benedict Catholic Church, Montebello, CA, where one priest is not so pleased I have many questions about the Catholic faith. A few other priests don't mind, however, attending to a voracious appetite for answers. Later, one in particular, "Fr. Bernie", welcomes and encourages my questions; he later becomes a spiritual mentor and friend.
1979 - Received the Holy Sacrament of Confirmation. Volunteer at Beverly Hospital and begin to learn about the temporal aspects of life and reality of death.
1980 - Participated in Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Learned the Bible had an Old and New Testament. Spiritual advisor, Dave M., "Coach" (P.E. coach of Montebello High School, Los Angels, CA), teaches me how to find scripture and why there are so many books in the Bible. With his guidance, participate and study in small student prayer group.
1982 - Fr. Bernard O'Rorouke, "Bernie", gifts to me The Art of Christian Listening (1980), signed to him by the author, Thomas N. Hart, with the inscription, "It's been a pleasure having you in the course, Bernie. Blessings on you and your ministry. - Tom Hart"
1984 - Left the Catholic faith in favor of a Calvary Chapel (Downey, CA) approach to worship. I desire to study Christian apologetics at Weaton Collge (the door remains closed). Reading Evidence that Demands a Verdict (Josh McDowell) and learn "To every man an answer" (Dr. Walter Martin).
1985 - Dear friend and mentor, Fr. Bernard O'Rorouke dies from Multiple Sclerosis.
1991
- Following personal loss, begins a period of several years when I leave the faith and deny the existence of God.
- Many years pass without a firm belief in anything "spiritual" except that it is important to always pursue the truth and deal with whatever is revealed.
1998 - I remain agnostic and mindful of what I have learned. An appropriate scripture for this time is, "The word of God is something alive and active: it cuts more incisively than any two-edged sword: it can seek out the place where soul is divided from spirit, or joints from marrow; it can pass judgement on secret emotions and thoughts" (Hebrews 4:12).
2000 - Reading Evidence that Demands a Verdict and lean the historical significance of the life of Christ and to defend the faith with rational thought.
2000 - Reading Evidence that Demands a Verdict and lean the historical significance of the life of Christ and to defend the faith with rational thought.
2002
- At the bookstore, I stand in front of hundreds of "religious" books, thinking, "I need something not so touchy-feely. Something that is based on history." Find what I am looking for. Later, Fr. Benedict J. Groeschel, CFR replies (March 25, 2002) to letter I sent to express deep appreciation for what In The Presence of Our Lord - The History, Theology, and Psychology of Eucharistic Devotion has meant for my life and understanding of the The Real Presence of our Lord.
- Eyes opened, my life is changed and I can no longer deny God and what Jesus has done. Thus begins the walk back to the faith of my now deceased grandmother. No longer agnostic, longing to satisfy the yearning to be Catholic and understand our history.
- Unlike in the year 1991, a truly God centered life begins to emerge and can be beautifully summarized in the Apostle's Creed (for history on the Apostle's Creed, see Catholic Encyclopedia).
2003
- Discover Eucharistic Adoration at St. Elizabeth Seton (Carlsbad, CA) and read, Praying in the Presence of Our Lord with the Saints (Fr. Benedict J. Groeschell and James Monti, 2000).
- Register for Adoration (1:00 a.m.) to better understand the experience of being with the Lord and dealing with weakness: "He came back to the disciples and found them sleeping , and he said to Peter, 'So you had not the strength to stay awake with me for one hour? Stay awake, and pray not to be put to the test. The spirit is willing enough, but human nature is weak'" (Matthew 26:40-41).
- Reading More than a Carpenter (Josh McDowell, 2004).
- 1st child, "Baby 'B'" is born. First blog entry as a Catholic dad, mindful of a new role and responsibility to receiving the gift of a child. Blog is under another name, which I will give to my children when older.
- My faith is solidified as I feel at home and after going to confession, which I had not done since my youth.
- Prayer and reflection on scripture is more and more important, as are fellowship and learning about Catholic authors.
2005
- Discover Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN), which significantly contributes to my education on the Catholic faith.
- Facilitate San Diego Catholic Dads group at St. Elizabeth Seton, Carlsbad, CA.
- Find the Knights of Columbus, local men with CatholicMen.org and other brothers a welcoming fellowship and source of encouragement.
- Discover How the Catholic Church Built Western Civilization (Thomas E. Woods Junior, 2005).
2006 - 2nd child, "My Dewdrop" is born. I find "My Breath" (Images).
2008
- Discuss extensively with colleague, professor and friend, Donna E. the value to parents having a "Life Story" for their children and subsequent generations. We discuss using blogs and other medium to tell "Our Stories, Our Lives".
- CatholicDads.org is registered.
- YouTube account established to integrate and utilize "multi-media" outreach.
- The issues related to promoting the sanctity of life dominate my mind and attention. My Christian brother, Steve F. educates me extensively on this topic and I become actively involved in promoting the dignity of life.
- Understanding about Mary the Mother of God becomes more and more clear.
- Captivated by My Lord during a personal retreat.
- Consider and eventually become an Oblate Novice of St. Benedict with Prince of Peace Abbey (Oceanside, CA) and begin to activate my faith in the community under the encouragement and education of Br. Daniel Sokol, O.S.B.
- Begin reading through Catechism of the Catholic Church (U.S. Catholic Church, 1995) for a second time (for online version, see Catechism of the Catholic Church hosted by St. Charles Borromeo, Picayune, Mississippi).
- God in the Streets of New York City (Grassroots Films Inc.) chosen for CatholicDads.org blog, as it carries the essential message for all time.
- Attention is focused on promoting the Miracle of Life and education on the sanctity of life, from birth to death.
- "During one of the greatest challenges my family and I face, I find joy in my children...and continue to depend on the Lord for wisdom" (Video).
- CatholicDads.org registers 50,000 page views prior to migrating from a static site to blog format.
- CatholicDadsHQ.com is registered following conviction a more active role in sharing the Catholic faith is essential to continued spiritual growth and meeting the needs of the Catholic dads community.
- Establish local Catholic business owners network (currently at 35 members) to promote B2B support and exchange of information and to mentor next generation of Catholic professionals.
- Identify need for Catholic counselors to network via one online publication to promote all aspects of mental health. Launch Catholic Counseling Today - "The question confronting the Church today is not any longer whether the man in the street can grasp a religious message, but how to employ the communication media so as to let him have the full impact of the Gospel message." -- Pope John Paul II
- The Lord's impression is everywhere and in "Reflections of Faith" (Images).
- Service to the Catholic dads community continues. - "Faith formation is job #1"
2011
- After eight years of prayer, answer found through Saint John Chrysostom (Magnificat. Vol. 13, No. 7. Tuesday, September 13), to continue on present course / ministry to meet the needs of individuals and families everywhere at risk of impaired functioning.
1982 - "Bernie" gives me a book that I hold onto for over a decade and proves to be a seed to a career yet undetermined. Now, the year is 2011 and I curiously discover on page 39, the scripture Mark 12:29-31 is bracketed: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength...You shall love your neighbor as yourself." In 2010, Catholic Dads HQ is established with the tagline, "Strengthening: Heart, Soul and Mind".
1985 - Dear friend and mentor, Fr. Bernard O'Rorouke - "I miss you brother. You were an inspiration to my life and you showed me God was not afraid of my doubts."
2004 - My first child teaches me how to love beyond self.
2005 - Image used for San Diego Catholic Dads flyer.
2006 - My second child teach me love has no limits.
San Diego, CA - October 1, 2021 - CatholicDadsHQ.com launches a new website with the assistance of eCatholic.com. Catholic Dads HQ has a firm commitment to promote the Catholic faith, educate and support Catholic dads in the U.S. and abroad. Catholic Dads HQ is currently seeking and reaching out to Catholic therapists specializing in the needs of men of faith. The mission? To empower Catholic dads to continue their devotion to the formation of their children in the dimensions of spirit, soul, and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23).
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